TO: HomeownersFROM: Santa Claus
RE: "Santa-Tubes"
As you know, chimneys are what I normally use to deliver gifts, but the chimney situation is getting complicated. With all this spare-the-air business, I'm keeping it simple and skipping them entirely. Why not spare this old guy the trouble and install some Solatubes?
I know most of you are a bit strapped for cash and trust me, we realized things would be tight when we had to cut back on Talking Dolly* production. But tubular daylighting is the fastest and lowest-cost improvement you can make on your home. (They take less time to install than hanging up twinkle lights!) With the heater running nonstop and electric lights staying on extra hours all day, wouldn't it be nice to get a break on your electric bill? Solatubes brighten your dark home in the winter without using any electricity. (And the daylight brightens your bad mood after ugly weather, tacky gifts, and a growing gut).
My job is made easier by people with Solatubes. Not only do I stay clean and free of nasty burns, but those larger ones are easier to squeeze through. When I can save time on enter/exit shenanigans, I have time to leave more gifts, making everyone happy! Ho ho ho!
If you want lots of 'green' gifts from my green bag of goodies, install some Solatubes. I'd do it for you, but those Certified Installers are faster than the blink of an eye and guarantee a leak proof installation (plus they're a whole lot cleaner than reindeer).
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a bright light.
*P.S. I hear that, unlike Toyland, Naturalight has a surplus of Daylight Dollies. But you didn't hear that from me.
